Need more chapel skips?

Views 63 | Time to read: 1 minutes | Uploaded: 11 - 7 - 2018 | By: Merckx Dascomb

Chapel be-gone!

We turn in chapel cards for you at a cheap price!

We have a fleet of alums still living too close to Westmont that are unemployed and know the ins and outs of Chapel. They also have a college education, so you know that they are deep in debt and will remember how to spell your name.

Why You Should Hire Us
1. All of our workers are white men, so you know they blend in, won’t get in trouble, and they have pockets to hold as many cards as you need.
2. Good work ethic – we never turn in two cards at once!
3. Wholesome Christian business -- restores the free will that has been gifted to you by God by choosing to go to chapel as you please!

Pricing: $5 per chapel (Last month of Chapel surge price of $8) and a full semester package (45 total attendances) is $250

Customer testimony:

“Now that it’s my choice to go to chapel, I’ve never been more engaged with the services that I choose to attend!”

I never have to pretend to know the melody to the songs ever again!

Instead of going to chapel, I studied for my Chemistry test, and was able to praise God by not failing a class.

The Westmont Worship Team is on spotify so it’s not like I’m really missing anything.


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